From Schumann's Workshop

by Friedrich Kerst
(from the German by E.B. Hill)

Like a distant, distant evening landscape on which the rosy kiss of the sinking sun still trembles faintly, my whole life lies before me. I see as in a dream; I behold a mighty mountain, bleak and destitute of undergrowth, arise before my eyes; a full blown heavenly rose blooms upon it. I would reach it, I would fain get near it; the mountain is steep; its crags are precipitous. In vain my friend stretches his appealing hands towards it; and because he cannot reach it, he is overjoyed, he is as a god, if he is allowed to pray to the rose in the distance, and in divine contemplation to find again the bliss of his lost happiness. (Zwickau July 7, 1827, to Emil Flechsig, 1808-78, Schumann was seventeen years old when he wrote thus the "secret in the depths of a happy soul".)

Cast off into existence, hurled into the night of the world, without guide, teacher or father - thus I am placed, and yet the whole world never appeared in so favorable a light as just now, when I stand before it, and laugh, joyous and free, at its tempests. Lead me, my friend, into this stirring life, and life the venturesome youth when he sinks. (Zwickau, March 17, 1828, to Flechsig, who was studying in Leipzig, Schumann wished to join him to study law.)

Cold jurisprudence which cast me down at the beginning with its lifeless definitions, can never please me; medicine I will not, and theology I can not study. I find myself in an eternal war with myself, and seek in vain for a guide who can tell me what I should do. And yet - it cannot be otherwise. I must and will conquer the law, n0o matter how cold and dry it may be; and if man only will - he can do anything. (Leipzig, May 21, 1828, to his mother. On July 17, 1829, however, he wrote to his mother from Heidelberg; "With such teachers as Thibaut and Mittermayer, law has an agreeable aspect; I feel now, for the first time, the true worth of jurisprudence, that it promotes all holy interests in life.")

[Anton Friedrich Justus Thibaut, 1771-1840, professor of law at the University of Heidelberg from 1805 until his death, an ardent admirer of the old Italian Church composers, especially Palestrina. He possessed a valuable collection of folk songs of all nations. His book "On Purity in Musical Art" went through several editions, and is justly famous and valuable. E.B.H.]

My life is monotonous and joyless; it is fortunate that I do not live alone, for I might easily become melancholy. It is no pastime for me to go to public places, and I loathe to see silly fellows. Still in my heart I am not joyless, for what men cannot give me, I get from music, and all the lofty feelings which I cannot express, my piano utters for me. If I am sad, I think of my dear ones at home, who love me, and whom I love so deeply. Ah! mother, I am too weak a man, I know it too well; every deeply sentient man must be unhappy. (Leipzig, August 31, 1828, to his mother.)

I consider Music the noblest speech of the soul; others find it mere intoxication of the ears; other still a problem in arithmetic, and practice it in this manner. * * * I do not wish, however, that every man should understand me. (Leipzig, August 9, 1832, to his mother.)

Deep in my heart lies something, that I would not give up an any price - the faith that men are still good - and faith in God. Am I not lucky? (Leipzig, November 27, 1833, to his mother.)

I never felt so assured of my future as a present. Secure against poverty, so far as human insight can predict, inspiring plans in my head, a young heart attuned to all that is noble, hands ready for work, in the counsciousness of a worthy field of activity, still hoping to accomplish all that may be expected of my abilities, honored and loved by many - I think that should be enough! (Leipzig, September 13, 1837, to Friedrich Wieck on his daughter Clara's birthday. Schumann was trying t unite their friendship again.)

[Friedrich Wieck, 1785-1873, a famous piano teacher who lived for the greater part of his life at Leipzig and Dresden. He daughter, Clara, one of the greatest women pianists, was his pupil. She married Schumann, in spite of strenuous opposition on her father's part, after a struggle lasting many years, in which Schumann was finally obliged to have recourse to the law. E.B.H]

I might still confess to you much about myself and my character, that I am often not understood, that I often receive the most sincere tokens of affection with coldness and reserve, and often offend and rebuff those who have the kindliest feelings toward me. Frequently I have examined myself on this score, and reproached myself, since inwardly I acknowledge the slightest talent, understand every expression of the face, every smallest trait in the heart of others. Still I often lack words and the gift of expression. You will soon know how to take me, and will pardon me assuredly. For I have not a bad heart, and love the good and the beautiful with all the depths of my soul. (Vienna, December 29, 1838, to his betrothed, Clara Wieck.)

In your article on songs, I was a little disturbed that you put me in the second class. I did not expect to be rated among the first, but I hope to some pretensions to a place of my own, and was most unwilling to see myself placed with Reissinger, Curchmann and others. I know that my efforts and my method far surpass those mentioned, and I hope that you will acknowledge this yourself and on no account consider me vain, something I am far from being. I say this plainly and frankly; may you take it in the same spirit, and also consider my remarks as addressed only to you, toward whom I feel as an intimate. (Leipzig, May 9, 1841, to Karl Koszmaly, a contributor to Schumann's magazine.)

[Carl Reissiger, 1798-1859, a composer of the capellmeister order, whose operas, church music, and trio had a fleeting popularity. He succeeded Weber as conductor of the German opera at Dresden. He was supposed to be the composer of the piece known as "Weber's Last Waltz." His music has virtually disappeared. Carl Curschmann, 1805-1841, chiefly known as a composer of songs, popular before Schubert's songs were known. While superior to many song writers of the time, that they are inferior to the songs of Schubert, Schumann and Franz goes without saying, and Schumann was justified in his indignation at being compared with such mediocre composers. E.B.H]

Lately I looked in an old geography for facts about Dusseldorf, and found these curiosities recorded; Three nunneries and an insane asylum. The first I do not mind at all; but the last was very unpleasant to learn of. I will tell you my reasons; Several years ago, you remember, we lived in Maxen. I soon discovered that the principal sight from my window was the Sonnenstein Asylum. This view became at last absolutely annoying; it spoiled my life there. So I thought it might be the same at Dusseldorf. Perhaps, however, the facts are wrong, and this building may only be a hospital, such as there is in every town. (Dresden, December 3, 1848, to Ferdinand Hiller.)

[In September, 1850, Schumann succeeded Hiller as conductor at Dusseldorf, where he lived until his unhappy attempt at suicide made it necessary to place him under restraint. Here he composed the noble "Rhenish" symphony in E flat, the cantata "The Pilgrimage of the Rose", and many other choral works; the trio, Op. 110, the sonata for piano and violin, Op. 121, and many other works. That Schumann should have become insane here was but a strange coincidence in the light of his statement above, for the premonitions of his malady showed themselves many years before. E.B.H.]

The "Davidsbund" is only an immaterial and romantic alliance, as you long ago observed. Mozart was as staunch an adherent as Berlioz now is, and you are one without receiving a diploma to that effect. Florestan and Eusebius are my dual personality, which, like Raro, I would gladly unite. The other veiled identities are partly real persons; also much in the history of the Davidsbund has actually occurred. I could write whole sheets full, but this will have to suffice. (Leipzig, September 14, 1836, to Heinrich Dorn.)

[The purpose of the "Davidsbund" was to combat pedantry or "Philistinism" in music, as David and his men fought the Philistines. Florestan represented the stormy, passionate element in Schumann's nature, Eusebius the gentler and more poetic, while Raro impersonated the more judicial side which mediated between the other two. While the "Davidsbudn" existed only in the brain of its founder, there are constant allusions to it in Schumann's magazine. Other members were Chiara, a name for Clara Wieck, Felix Meritis for Mendelssohn, Julius for Julis Knorr, an editor of the Neue Zeitschrift; but its membership was never accurately defined. Schumann signed many of his compositions with the initials F. or E, among them the "Davidsbundler Dances", Op. 6, the "Carnevale", Op. 9, which ends with a "March of the Davidsbundler Against the Philistines", and the sonata, Op. 11. E.B.H]

I know my path is a somewhat lonely one, on which no applause of a huge crowd spurs me to work, on which only my great models, Bach and Beethoven, look from a distance, and do not fail in words of comfort and in strengthening advice. Besides I am understood but by few; for this, however, I am compensated by the love of three; Liszt, Clara Wieck and now - yourself. (Leipzig, February 8, 1838, to Simonon de Sire at Dinant, Belgium, who was much interested in Schumann's music.)